Does your screen consume your mental and emotional state? Do your kids find you aloof, disconnected, and unkind? Here are some simple ways to instantly break free.
- Use motion to tap into your emotion.
If you’re sitting, stand up when spoken to. If you’re standing, sit down. Break free of the chain that shackles you through simply moving your body. Jump up and down. Move across the room; get closer to your child instead of turning away or ignoring them.
- Face your screen facedown as soon as your child or spouse starts talking.
Turn towards your child when they enter the door. This characterizes a healthy relationship.
- Welcome interruptions – Smile away your annoyance.
Fake it until you make it. Remind yourself “not now is not never!” Your work will still get done. Just later.
- Ask yourself: “What would I have wanted in retrospect?”
You usually will regret ignoring or neglecting your child. If you desperately need personal space, and it is impairing your ability to be kind and giving, plan for success by creating a time limit. Create a support system in place, such as enlisting your spouse to be more attentive to their children’s needs or whip out a spontaneous treat, and inform those around you that you are taking a 5 minute breather in order to be a better mother. Put two timers on your phone for accountability. One for 4 minutes and another for 5 to give yourself a one minute warning when your break session is coming to a close.
- Use touch to ground you.
Hold your child close. Breathe in your child’s scent. Cup your child’s face into your hands and gaze into the depth of his or her eyes. Count until 20. It takes twenty seconds for your body to begin secreting the hormone oxytocin which is stimulated by touch.
Counter the addiction before your cellphone become the cell in which you wallow, miserable and alone and full of regret.
Your job as a mother is to create a feeling of home. Home means “You are welcome in my presence. I will keep you safe from harm (i.e. neglect and anger). I will make sure you feel heard, seen and soothed.”
Don’t be annoyed when your children chime for connection. You can either break the phone line or break the connection with your child. You choose.